Revision

Here's some fun funny fun revising tips! I'm not sure why I'm posting it... but I am, so there! Here's what goes through my mind when I'm revising short stories... I haven't finished my current novel so I'm not up to this stage yet...

1. I print out the ms on 3-hole-punch paper, which I then place in a handsome binder (grey, since you asked).

2. I sit down with the binder, and a notebook with the title - Reasons for Shame.

3. My first trip through the ms is a copyedit - red-pen city.

4. As I'm copyediting, the bigger problems (many of which were nagging at me even before I got to this point) leap off the ms, grab me by the ears, and demand to know how a hack like me dares call herself a writer.

5. I overcome my shame and begin a list of these bigger problems (characters that go away for too long, voices that change, motivations that seem powerful in Ch1 but pitiful by Ch10, etc.) in my notepad.

6. OK, the copyedit is done and I've got a list of shame-inducing problems. I create a new electronic draft, zip through it and input my edits.

7. I print the dang thing again. Treehugging Tip: Just flip the paper over and run it through the ol' printer. I don't do this... Mother Nature can kiss my Beyonce sized arse!

8. Now I have to read it again, while eyeballing my notes. I use all my self control to avoid further copyediting (if I let myself, I could merrily copyedit the same draft for the next hundred years). By now, I am painfully aware of the story's shortcomings; the goal this time through is to flag problems (HE TALKED LIKE A GANGSTER IN CH2, NOW HE'S TALKING LIKE WILLIAM F. FRIGGING BUCKLEY) and jot down ideas for new scenes (WHERE THE HELL IS PHIL, HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR 60 PAGES).

9. I write the goddam new scenes, even though I'm a goddam hack who couldn't land a goddam piece in the goddam Springfield Shopper if my goddam life depended on it.

10. I ask Mrs Josey if maybe I'm being a little hard on myself.

11. She says no.